ONE ...... Happy 1st Birthday Angel!!!!

My Dearest Aubrey, my precious star, my light, my love.....................

Today is the very 1st Anniversary of your birth!! I can't believe it has already been a whole year since my deepest longing, my hearts desire, my every wish came true.............. YOU!!

You arrived at 7:48pm on a Thursday night, 15 days early..... but not a moment too soon. You were a whole 7Lbs 5 oz., with the smallest of white peach fuzz covering your beautiful little head.... and eyes that absolutely pierced my soul with first gaze.

Your first nights home were but a dream, both hard for me to fully remember & difficult for me to believe. How could the most beautiful and most perfect angel be snuggled into my chest, nursing softly next to my heart, breathing in and out with the sweetest breath I've ever smelled.........How, oh, how could this angel be ours??? I thought over and over again.

You grew so quickly, almost too quickly.... just as all had warned. You soon began smiling & cooing; thus, melting my heart into the pool of mush it has become since your birth.

You then began laughing and rolling over. Through my tears of pure joy, I laughed with you. Sprouts of your little personality sprung forth from you day by day, and your silly wit, giving heart, and loving spirit became more and more obvious in each passing moment.

Then, as if over night, you started crawling, babbling, and sadly stopped nursing. Not by any fault of yours, but for Mommy's own health reasons, we had to move you on to formula. I still remember that last night that I held you so tightly to me as you nursed. I wanted it to last forever, and I quietly cried & cried while you nursed yourself to sleep. (February 16, 2009) I was so blessed to be able to nurse you as long as I did, and for my body to continue to nourish your body for almost 8 full months. I was just so sad to see it end. I cried when the rest of your umbilical cord fell off, my love...... so, you can only imagine how sad I was to stop nursing.

Anyway, your quick transition to formula went pretty well once mommy & daddy found a bottle you would take. Then before we knew it, you were off growing even more. Soon, you started pulling up on everything and standing all by yourself. You held on tightly to Mommy's hands, as you walked any and everywhere. And like everything you do, I saw the longing in your eyes to do it all by yourself...... to truly be a "big girl". My angel, if you could but only hear & understand me say, "you have your whole life ahead of you to be "big"....... so, please, stay "small" as long as possible!!!"

So, here we are now. You my precious Love, are 1 year old. You can now walk all by yourself, say mammmma and dadddda all the time, chase the doggies with your push/walking toys, you laugh at both your parents and yourself, and you .... in all of your genius (you little mensa child you) will hopefully some day understand how much you are loved. I know their are many who would scorn me for saying this or feeling this, but you my love, are my purpose. My reason for existence. My drive to get out of bed each morning, and the reason for the smile on my face & in my heart. You are my happy ending, my ever after, my once upon a time - come true, and I shall thank God for you every day there is breath in my body.... and then some. I love you baby girl, and I celebrate with my whole being the gift & miracle that you are! Happy 1st birthday angel....... no matter how old you are........ you will forever be my baby!