Pee & She is getting SO BIG!

Bree did it... SHE DID IT!!!! She used the big potty for the first time!!! She sat on her little toilet seat that fits on top of the real toilet, and she went pee pee!!  WoooHoooo!!

Mommy is so very very proud of you, baby!!

In the middle of our victory ice cream & dance party, after she used the potty..... Nick showed up and took her for his overnight visit with her.  Boo. We didn't even get to eat our ice cream.  Oh, well.... we shall celebrate all week!! 


:-( Missing my baby, already.

How Do You Live Your Dash?

This poem was given to me a couple months ago. As I was sifting through mounds of paper work that at times seem to be talking over my life, I pulled this out & read it once more. I needed it today ...which, of course is why it was given to me months ago..... So, that I may find it like a needle in a haystack amongst my paperwork, on the precise day it was intended for me to digest.

Taking Time to Swing
 -December 2009

Once more, I am humbled by a God of miraculous design. Her Maternal unconditional love that provides provisions for me daily. It makes me wonder why it is I struggle every day to just turn it over?  Turn over my fear, my worry, my heart ache, my longing, ...my all, for all I need to do is but to ask for help & so shall it be... because that has been promised to me. One day soon (I pray), I will do this, daily. I will turn it over with out being broken first, without buts & half hearted trusting, and someday it will feel natural to do this... rather than feeling like I'm hand writing a final exam essay in pencil with my left hand. Ha! I guess that analogy is funny in it's self, being that we each write our own lives.... and writing with your less dominate hand, looks like a child's hand writing.  If we could all learn to write our lives with the heart of a child, hand in hand with the God of our own understanding (however you choose to label or perceive Her/Him/Higher Power).... how different would our lives be, how different our experience & perception, & how different our reality might be?

What do I want other's to say of my dash? 

 ..... I would pray that people would know me, think of me, & remember me as a Woman of courage & love. A Woman, a Lady.... who lived her life fully ALIVE and with full intention & passion, free & fully present, with an open & willing heart .... even, or.... ahem.... shall I say, especially in times of trial or uncertainty.  I would hope that I lived a life, daily, that taught my daughter by example who she would like to be like, more than not. I long for Aubrey/Bree... or my Breezy to know & remember her Mommy to be silly, loving, giving, bright, undefeated by life's fallout's, yet foul-able... therefore, teachable. A person willing to admit mistakes & weaknesses, and stronger yet... because she could not only give, but also ask for help. A Woman who braved to tread the path less traveled, so that there might be a way, a better life for her & her Breezy. And finally, I wish that the little foot print I may leave behind on this earth or in the hearts of those who knew me... when my life has reached it's end & I must pass on..... is a messy one of unique hope, laughter, and one of example, of how to dance... a heart able... willing... and wanting to dance in sun & in the rain .... or with a broken arm... or a broken heart... with joy & with pain.

So, here is the poem that sparked this writing today.....

How Do You Live Your Dash?

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning.... to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth

and spoke of the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years. (1944-1998)

For the dash represented all the time
that she spent alive on earth....
And now only those who loved her
know what that little dash is worth.

For it matters not, how much we owe;
the cars.... the house... the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our little dash.

So, think about this long and hard...
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more.
And love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile...
Remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read
with your life's actions to be rehashed...
Would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?

Published!!

Whoop, Whoop, Whooooo!!

Yes, indeedy! The winds of change have been blowing for so so long, and now some good stuff is finally blowin' our way!

I submitted a few of my photographs for a local magazine Cover contest, and although we didn't make the cover, we did get published as an Honorable Mention! It is in the August 2010 issue of Frisco Style Magazine, and Miss Aubrey's photo is on the 4th page. I am so excited! I feel like my passion for photography & my deep longing to make a business out of my passion is beginning to take root. More importantly, the photo that was selected for publication was of Aubrey! It's just like a double shot of "hell yeah!"

http://digital.turn-page.com/title/4248 or http://www.friscostyle.com/

Again, I bow my head in gratitude for the windows & doors that were & are being opened for me .... remembering that even "in the Winter, far beneath the bitter snow... lays a seed that with the sun's love, in the Spring becomes the Rose."

This time a year ago, I would never ever dreamed what a long & hard road still lay ahead of me. I also, never could have imagined how difficult, but how glorious it could be to actually begin to heal, start again from ground zero, and best of all.... to finally begin to discover myself.

The road is still rough, the path is still unknown, there are mountains still waiting to be climbed, but for now, for this moment..... it is okay, I am okay, ... we are not only okay.... we are just were we need to be, right now. ;-)